the pace of s l o w

Life these days tends to be one speed. Fast. I find myself eating lunch standing up, drinking my coffee while rescuing Caiden from another toilet catastrophe and helping the boys stay in motion with chores and cleanup. Sometimes, I get these thoughts of, "What in the world did I do with all my time when I just had baby Andrew?" The funny thing is, even though my life then as a mother could not be fairly compared to today, I still felt my days were so very full. It was all so new and every moment was spent enjoying, experiencing and enriching my baby's life. You see, this thing called motherhood, no matter how few or many children you have, no matter how busy, innovative or laid back they are, and no matter how organized or (cough*cough) unorganized you may be, is simply put, NOT FOR WHIMPS!!! It pulls from every corner of your being. Every physical, emotional and spiritual aspect. It bombards you every day with brand new challenges that expects you to be at peak performance. It doesn't regard the fact that you have taken care of a sick husband for a week, or that your teething baby was up not one, not two, but three times through the night and that your 4 year old is really going through a tough behavioral period. And it does not always wait for you to be ready to deal with each situation. As a matter of fact, I am quite suspicious that there is some kind of hidden signal embedded in our bathroom door and telephone that alerts the boys that "IT IS TIME TO ENGAGE"---for mom is having a quiet moment to herself. 

So, when a few hours of quiet came along this past week, thanks to a particular grandmother who took the older boys to do some secretive Christmas shopping, I 

immediately felt...wow. It is so  q  u  i  e  t  and   s l o w  here. This will be easy. Just Caid and I----I'll get so much done! 

But, you know, those thoughts of "the easy good old days" hit me across the face. Because Caiden, who is much like Drew was in learning and playing, is not satisfied with sitting and playing with his toys for long periods of time. No. He wants to be moving, and trying, and "communicating" and testing and on.the.go.  So, I was brought back to those full and busy days. Those days of one child, which is definitely less distracted and more focused time with the child, but I found that he was a little bit lost without the sibling avalanche going on around him to follow. So I called it a day of not getting those little things done and sat right down on the floor with him and followed his play. Which at that time, happened to be Mr. Potato Head. 

and we practiced pointing to our eyes...

and had some good laughs.

Just the two of us.

Mr. Caiden is growing up oh, so fast. And I see such a difference in him being the third child. (third boy, to be specific). Because this kid knows how to swish a sword and dog pile on his brothers and laugh at their inside jokes as his life's goal right now is to keep up...keep up...keep up. But when the day comes to an end, it's still his momma that he wants to cuddle. And that, I am holding on to for as long as I can. 


(p.s. Caiden clearly says momma...but still does not say dadda...and is totally playing his cards on this one! sorry, honey). 

[caiden & momma on the train going downtown chicago. summer 2010]